Sunday has always been my favorite day of the week. So I sit after sipping coffee, smoking cigs and watching my Sunday Morning program which is my favorite thing to do on Sunday morning and I wonder what will I write about today. Thoughts are hard to get down in writing sometimes especially when I have so many. Many things come to mind to write about. The task seems so difficult today that it may be easier to keep them in my head. In fact I think I need more caffeine and smokes to get my thoughts straight, but then...that could make it worse. Maybe I should just try to get it out of my head and see what happens.
My Best friend for many years is more than likely not going to live much longer, cancer.
I miss my mother. My sisters Birthday is tomorrow and I could care less because I am angry at her. I miss my Smith boys. I really need a job. I don't like to ask for help and I need it. I don't know why I have such a hard time with this...but I do. It makes me feel very insecure and at the mercy of others.
I am in love with a man I can't seem to be with enough...(I'm well aware someone has to work around here). Makes me feel even worse. I need to get those damn papers filed! I have a civil lawsuit against me and every time I think about the financial position that jerk put me in I wan't to scream.
But hey! I'm with a man I am crazy about and sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He has a great family that seems to be accepting of me. My health is pretty good. My family loves me. I'm grateful to God my father is ok even though he is not really. My serenity level is up higher than it has been in quite a few years. I smile every night before I fall asleep. I woke up singing a song everyday. So.... I'm good really. Just takes alittle while to realize it some days.
Have a great day I am going to even if it takes trying really hard to find something to occupy myself.
Music! I need music! :~)
You're a strong woman and at the mercy of no one. You'll find your way and that man you love will help you if only you'll trust him, I know for a fact that he loves you. Talk to him and you'll find he is a great listener and very understanding. I'll even bet there is nothing he wouldn't do for you! Change is always tough...even when it's in a positive way, hang in there, enjoy your life, and listen to music! Put all the negative in it's proper place and focus on the positive, you'll find yourself on a pedistal where someone you love has put you...
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