Figure it out

I've loved one man greater than the others... figure it out.

Post op 5 months

It's been a long long haul. I am back to work... but I dont have my stamina back yet. By the end of the day my back is caving over abit but I just push..and push. It is feeling better. I am hoping though I will feel MUCH better before the end of the year.

The rest .. I love my grandbabies so much I cant hardly believe it! That's all for now.

Once again I have thoughts of writing more.

2018

This year has started out BIG. Many things going on. Little Mason Ray came to the world Dec 13th! He's so precious and although not planned we couldn't be more grateful or in love. Jacklyn is a wonderful mother too.

My back will soon need surgery.. again. I'm scared, impatient and ready to back out some days. The stress of everything is so much sometimes and I find myself feeling very alone and depressed. Maybe I'm wrong .. but I feel like I give everything and I am left standing in my own corner looking around and no one is there.

Cancer has crept it's ugly head up. For this I pray hard. For the help Jan needs to be available. For God to sooth her worry and see her through.

Joe works long hours everyday and I  appreciate him obviously more than he knows. Because he's angry and grumpy with just about his every word. I think I know he doesn't mean it.. but it makes cry all the same. I pray more... and sometimes I have to just go to sleep and hope it will be different tomorrow.

Whatever Gods plan is for us I hope it has more smiles and genuine laughter.  Because we all need that.