I'm so proud

I love to watch Traci compete! And right now I just want to support her and show her love... Love you Traci I do <3

Love you Traci

After spewing and thinking a lot.  

If I lost my mother I wouldn't care about anything either. Gonna cook Traci breakfast tmrw.  She has a track meet.  

She just came in my room and talked about tmrw.  Told her I'd cook her whatever she wants in the morning and take her to cemetery. I'm gonna continue to be understanding until Friday...

Where my mouth opened up :-0

My stepdaughter has seriously been in the bathroom for an hour! Maybe more! What the FUCK does she do in there?!

It's everyday or night. 

Every little thing is crawling under my skin with her right now. #1 she hasn't even spent ANY time cleaning her room even after her Dad left her a note with many exclamations on it !!!

She truly doesn't care. 

And I'm just waiting... As heartless as this May sound... I know when it all comes down to it (when I or Joe get pissed and tell her this lazy ass attitude is over) she's going to pull the "mom card". I actually think she's planning it.  That's why she's not doing shit to get her room and bathroom cleaned and give any kind of effort around here. She has her card in her back pocket (& her Grammy).

The news I have for her is the "step monster" is about to show up. I just can't sit by any longer and let her pout her way through and being allowed. It's needs to be confronted. She may hate me for years after and my biggest concern is that she will drag a few others with her.  

I love her. I do. But she has to be taught or she will never know. It's time to be more responsible and contribute around her.  Half ass washing dinner dishes occasionally and taking out the trash and leaving the trash bin by the street for three days after, looking in on her dogs once every week or TWO OR THREE sometimes IS NOT GETTING IT!!

Change is necessary.  

All that being spewed... I know tomorrow will be a hard day and I will more than likely cry myself at some point for her and Joes loss of a very special woman! In fact I plan on making my own visit to her resting place. 

I'm just... So... Disappointed that she isn't giving ANY effort.  And joe and I do. We really do for her to get to stay in sports after the crap she pulled. Ok done. Love you Traci and you too Joe <3

Writing technique

I'm going to have to continue to write with my heart. That's what I've always done here... It's just my feelings. I need to be able to write without fear of repercussions. Just saying don't get offended here or take anything personal. If that starts to happen I will have to make a change in my blogging. But I don't want to. I want to write quickly without thought, purely emotion. Maybe I shouldn't but it's my therapy :-) 

More thoughts to come...

Joe does this to me

ALWAYS

The birds are chattering this morning.  The pig is too singing.  Coffee is tasty! Just missing that one thing, the most important .... My hubby. He sacrifices for our family.  Just want him to know he's within my heart each morning first thing. And I will always be here with a smile when he returns.  ALWAYS no matter what!

Spring forward

I wish I had a camera the other day when my husband got the old lawn mower running and was driving around cutting grass holding his beer high and singing out " a pirate flag and an island girl".  I got a text. "Need beer". So so funny :-).  I took as a sign as to what a great summer it's going to be.  

Everyday I smile.  It's a nice change from the years past.  

Denise

Today is your birthday and I AM thinking of you. And Traci too. Sometimes I think people think I'm just the new wife that has no thoughts of what went on before I got here. But that's very far from the truth. 

I talk to you Denise quite often. And have been known to cry. Only because I know you were special to everyone. I hope and pray that I am watching over you precious daughter as you would. Everyday is not perfect here but I sure try to keep it together. And when I'm not feeling so sure about myself or the situation I do think of you. I think you pull me through sometimes... Do you? Is that you?

Happy birthday~ rest in peace 

My "fix"

A new hairdo should be just the thang :-) 

Something about hair, nails... toes, new cars... I mean shoes!!... that does a body good! I mean truly I could get my "fix" having my hair done every few months and a new pair of shoes or shorts bout every couple months.  I think I'm low low maintenance.